Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
