when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
