Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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