You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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