those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Even my vagina gasped.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
