Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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