I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize