Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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