dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
