stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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