Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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