i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
