I want to walk on stilts...naked
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are two peas in an std pod
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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