Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize