whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
