I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
