I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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