um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
