ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I touched a dick in church today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
