Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize