One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think i have two assholes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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