i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
