haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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