3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
