Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
