matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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