I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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