FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
