she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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