i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
