I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
