I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
