He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
