Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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