Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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