Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Someone shit on the floor
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
