I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So much rum. So many feels.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
