capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
