I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
