Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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