Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
