she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
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