Apparently you make a good broom.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
