I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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