It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
