yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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