the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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