Define "chronic" masturbator.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
