there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
