your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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