You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just high enough for therapy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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