I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
