The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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