Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
