Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
