I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
