I want to walk on stilts...naked
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
