What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
this hospital has no fireball
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize