I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
