Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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