I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Too much gin, very little bucket
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
