Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
