The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
