I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drake has all the answers
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He shit in the fireplace
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
